Pondering ends up nothing..

Think so much for the past days after recieving the invitation. End up did not attend, disappoint pple, tired myself?

What's all this for? I dun noe.. really.. I really hope everything will no crash together next time.. I hate so MUCH when handling all this things..

I SEEK advice from many but the solution isn't there. If I were to fulfill everyone's expectation, will I be the one who's happy or others? I live to make pple happy or myself? Contradicted..

Someone told me tat he was stunned tat I did this. I say yes. You can use "stunned" on me. cause I'm the one pple always expect me to turn up to partys, invitation, so-on. But this time round I'm really tired. not only tired on the very day, but so many days of work.

I told him maybe only Fang n Dino understand ba. cause they know I'm handling 2 jobs now. trying to cope with commitments in bball. Yes, I'm selfish this time round. for myself.

I feel like my legs are getting weaker. I dunno whats happening to my body. my knees are like not working properly.. It's painful when I climb the stairs. What should I do..

I dun wanna quit training. I dun wan history to repeat.

Any one who can understand how I feel?